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Monday Oct 29, 2007

Tak terasa air mata mengalir di sudut mata

Hilang lagi harapan diam-diam menyusupi relung hati
Harapan untuk menjadi lebih bahagia
Pupus sebelum sempat menjadi nyata

Iklas, itu yang kerap aku bisikan dalam hati
Semua hadir dengan alasan sendiri
Berusahalah untuk TEGAR dalam hadapi cobaan ini
sekali lagi, semua hadir dengan alasan sendiri

Namun, sulit untuk ku tegar di tengah cobaan kali ini
Karena ku menghadapinya seorang diri
Tanpa ada sosok tegar yang menemani
Batu karang yang selalu lindungi diri ini

Iklas, adalah kata yang sering kuteriakkan dalam hati
berharap dengan iklas aku akan lebih mudah menjalani
cobaan kali ini seorang diri…

Ya Allah…Ya Rabb, kuat kan jiwa dan raga ini
karena sesungguhnya, Kau memberi coba karena aku kuat
Moga-moga aku tak mengecewakan Mu… Amiin……


Hoorraaayyy.. dapet kado

Monday Oct 8, 2007

Assyiiiiiikkk…dapet hadiah web domain [atau domain web?…yang mana sie yang bener?…hehehe..whatev lah yg penting yiiippppiiiieeee…..].

Iseng-iseng minta hadiah jarig ama temen ku. Antara ngarep ama ngga gitu. Maklum lah, udah belajar dari pengalaman, yang rata-rata bilang gini ; “Udah gede kok masih ngarep hadiah :(“. Males banget kan dengernya. Abis kan masa sie ngarep kado tergantung ama umur, ga banget kan :p.

Nah, secara iseng, maksudnyai ga bener-bener ngarep [ga bener ngarep tapi minta berulang-ulang :p], jadi waktu terakhir kali nanyain soal hadiah ke sahabatku [haiyah gimana sie…kontradiktif banget…hehehe..] lewat sms, terus dijawab, “Lagi mikir untuk kasih web hosting [atau web domain gitu…halah!!!…:p].

Denger mau dikasih itu lah [daripada ditulis bolak balik minta re-assurance lagi kan ya :D], awalnya sie bingung juga, secara pengennya sesuatu dalam bentuk barang tapi setelah dipikirkan masak-masak, hmm…boleh juga ya :). Karena berarti hadiah itu buat satu tahun penuh [dan dengan culas aku masih minta kalo hadiah itu continue setiap tahun.. hihihihi…. ga mau rugi banget. Tapi secara diplomatis, sahabatku itu bilang, “nanti kita pikirkan lagi untuk tahun mendatang”. Waaah…ga bisa diculasin nie..:D hehehe]

Nah, setelah beberapa kali sms-an akhirnya di konfirm juga kalo my roses diaries  itu finally mine – seneng banget – hehehe….Karena berarti sekarang ga usah pake embel-embel blogspot yang notabene gratisan itu [hehehe…tomatto-tommato banget ya…wong sama2 gratisan, secara yang bayar juga bukan aku :)..].

Sebenernya sie, selain dari alamat-nya, emang ga ada yang berubah kok, tetep ajah leiout dan lain-lainnya sama. But nevertheless, I like this new address of mine.

PS: Untuk sahabat-ku…thanks ya, udah ngadoin ini :). May God always be with you…


better than puuuurrrrffffeeeecccctttt :)

Monday Oct 1, 2007

I feel sad this last week and I am not sure what’s wrong with me. I think because there are so many things in my mind, and I can’t really tell someone about it, not even my hubby. Because to tell you the truth, I don’t really know myself what’s wrong with me. WTF !!!….Hell, it’s driving me nuts!!

But after a long careful thinking, I think I know what’s wrong with me… well partly anyway. I am a freakin’ romantic and I am sooo damn bothered by this wonderful puuuuuurrrrrrfect relationship between the two strangers [to me anyway] whom blog I’ve been visiting every now and then.

Well, I always consider that I have this great relationship with my beloved hubby. Ever since we have known each other way back on 1993, we have this puuuuuuurrrrfffeeect connection, like we have the same kinda way of joking, or make fun of other people or we have a weird way of completing each other sentences — or so i believed — untill i read this 2 people who is soooo crazy in love with each other.

Hmm..what I’m trying to say is that I miss that butterflies feels on my tummy whenever we did something romantic, or the adrenalin rush whenever we did something naughty and afraid that someone might see us or even caught us. I guess I miss the adventurous and romantic part in our relationship and guess what??… I am not the only one :), turns out my hubby were also feeling kinda the same [told ya….weird connection..:p]

Well, last Friday my husband and I have a very heart to heart talk about our current relationship. How we take everything for granted. Knowing that we both will always understand each other that we forget to keep the romance going, and I have to tell you that it’s a very dangerous thing to do. You have to always keep the romance going!!! always…always….

On our last conversation, I told my husband little things that I loooove about him. Little silly things…but that’s what made me fall in love with him over the years…

I like his attitude when he was doing the cross puzzle and making fun of me for not being able to answer the simplest question.

I like his laugh, which I feel very contagious. It’s like a wave of rumbles soft voice coming out that beautifuly shape mouth 🙂

I miss feeling of his hands on my cheeks, wiping the tears away, or just messing with my hair, or even a small pat on my butt….Aww….I can’t even begin to tell you how much I miss him doing little things like that.

I told him that because I love him so deeply, I put him on a pedestal. I don’t want to bother him telling that I miss him, miss doing little thing with him; like watching our favorite TV Series, I won’t bother him by telling about my problem at the office, coz I know that he has problem of his own, like how to finished his thesis or doing his school assignment. I thought I was doing him a favor by not telling him that entire problem, for that cause the gap in our relationship and I don’t even know it.

But I also told him that I was wrong, and I intend to make everything right. To always keeps the romance going. NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES !!!.

Promise to always say that I love him, and continue to touch him, and make him the most important man in my live [coz he was, he is and he always will, I just forget to say it from time to time].

So honey, if you read this post, please believe me, I am trying my best to make the most of what we have and always…always cherish you and love you for the rest of my live.

This I promise you…….

And after that long talk, I feel better, a lot better. I realized, what my husband and I have is better than puuuuuuurrrrfffffffeeeccccctttt…because we have survived 14 years together and still standing up strong. Maybe we forget to keep the romance going from time to time, but that’s very human.

I really like to know if that perfect stranger will ever find the strength to survive the relationship just like us. But I sure hope they do, coz in a way I have them to thanks for reminding me that not because you have spend 14 years together, you can take everything for granted and forget to say the most important words in the relationship, that three magic little words… I LOVE YOU…
So thank you to Miund and Yodee :)…..